n
4e3656bff084449d3a14708de0966eba.m4a
00:00:00,000 And what that means is I help people to architect growth by landing
planes. A lot of visionaries, thought leaders, entrepreneurs, business
owners, project managers. They just like to go to 30,000 feet and then they fly and circle at 30,000 feet.
00:00:14,460 But you do need to land the plane with the idea eventually and then
start executing it. And so I help with processes and systems. I work with a lot of people that have a spiritual aspect to what they do.
00:00:28,940 They don’t just like work, but they also want work with a purpose. I want to make an impact in this world. I do believe that we can remove external blocks all we want.
00:00:39,460 But if we then still are up our against our own internal blocks, our
mindset, what we really believe in our traumatized childhoods, if you
never get over that, it’s going to be very hard for us to be successful
because there’s a constant battle. And that’s what I do is I help people
to figure out what they want, where they want to go and then help them to architect the plan to get
00:00:58,920 there. It’s nice again. If you are listening to this, that means that you are 00:01:18,400 listening to the old style of the podcast.
You may like the old style of having split into two pieces, but I know
some of my listeners didn’t. So what I have done, I have created the
option for you to be able to listen to everything all of them and go. You don’t have to wait until next week.
00:01:32,680 You could get it there. At the moment, it’s just unspifiable. We’ll be 00:01:37,600 coming on Patreon as well.
Costure is three quid plus that, I guess, over a month. And that means
you get the whole thing all the one going. So the other advantage that’ll be coming out on the Sunday.
00:01:50,880 This one, you’ll notice it just come out Monday, might make big
difference really, but there you go. You’ve got it. You’ve got that choice helps me invest in better equipment and maybe a few other bonus items going forward.
00:02:06,280 So if you can spare, send you to the coffee once a month and you get
the benefit of getting it earlier and getting it all together. So pop along to
Spotify, have a look in there where it is and there’ll be a little lock sign against one called number one three two slash one three three. John Henny, the voice coach, that’s the combined one and you should be able to click on there.
00:02:31,200 Do what Spotify tells you to do to register and put all your payments in.
And yeah, that’s it. And the only thing if you have done that and you do do it, I don’t know if I get details on it.
00:02:44,480 Yeah, it’s very new. So send me a ping me a message through whatever medium you can get hold of me and you’ll get a mention on
the show. So again, thanks for watching and let me carry on with the show.
00:02:58,760 Cheers. So I have a number of responses, affiliate links in the way that
it’s set up that have kindly like me to share their services really. The first one is my clean and Mike runs PM on my PM courses and it is a great resource for getting those fundamentals of project management.
00:03:40,400 Trained reasonably priced and Mike presents it in an accessible and clear manner. You can check out some of his videos on his YouTube
channel and kind of give you a view of where they are. But so the code
for that if you go to nodulacreset.com/onlinepmcoursesall, all one with a little case that will be directed to it.
00:04:09,520 There’s very different levels that you can buy you can buy individual
courses you can buy pathways as well if you like. And I get a kick back
off those, my kindly shares me that. So if you do jump on and use it, I hope you find it really useful.
00:04:27,560 I think yes, I’ll leave that down to you and use that as well. So there’s a third of a ticker risk on that. So jump on that and that again is nodulacreset.com/onlinepmcoursesadenjol.
00:04:43,560 Hi and welcome to the show. Today I’m delighted to have Beatrice Shelter on. She is a growth architect and a founder of the women’s code.
00:05:00,640 She creates strategies, designs, process maps and blueprints for
visionaries and leaders who want to maximize their profits and scale
their impact. A first generation immigrant who found herself $135,000 in
debt as a single parent. She built strap-disk passion for photography
into a highly successful global business and eventually sold it to build
gates in a multi-million dollar deal, which I’m sure we’re going to talk about.
00:05:26,560 She is one of 100 top global thought leaders in 2021 by PeopleHunt and one of 50 must follow women entrepreneurs on Huff, I think, and post. She’s the author of #1 International Award-winning Amazon Bestseller, Happy Woman, Happy World. How to go from overwhelmed
to awesome a book that corporate trainer and bestselling author Brian Tracy calls a handbook for every woman who wants health, success and a fulfilling career.
00:05:56,520 I’d be happy to welcome to the show with a fast array of interesting
topics. I was going to talk about your client list there, but I was going to
take ages to do that. Let’s get into it. Welcome to show and tell us a little bit about yourself.
00:06:13,400 Thank you so much for having me, Nigel. Again, Beatrice Shelter, I’m known as a growth architect and what that means is I help people to
architect growth by landing planes. A lot of visionaries, thought leaders, entrepreneurs, business owners, project managers.
00:06:28,400 They just like to go to 30,000 feet and then they fly and circle at 30,000
feet, but you do need to land the plane with the idea eventually and
then start executing it. And so I help with processes and systems. I
work with a lot of people that have a spiritual aspect to what they do.
00:06:47,400 They don’t just like work, but they also want work with a purpose. I want to make an impact in this world. I do believe that we can remove
external blocks all we want, but if we then still are up our against our own internal blocks, our mindset, what we really believe in our
traumatized childhoods, if you never get over that, it’s going to be very hard for us to be successful because there’s a constant battle. And
that’s what I do is I help people to figure out what they want, where they want to go and then help them to architect the plan to get there.
00:07:18,320 Brilliant. I’m sure all the listeners will have some a few of their ears
have been pricking up there and thinking about, yeah, how do we? I like that analogy there where you’ve got the flying at 30,000 feet, but
actually landing it. A lot of us have got a lot of great, terrible for it. I’ve got loads of fantastic ideas in my mind.
00:07:35,320 Well, actually getting ready to do something with them sometimes is a
battle. I leave them when I do then I go back up into it the next one and
not finish off the other one. Just tell us a little bit about you. I’m side of
that. Where are you? Where are you from? I know it. As we said before
that you’re a first generation immigrant. Tell us a little bit about kind of you rather than you as your business.
00:07:58,000 Yeah, so I come original from Germany. I am I am now holding a dual
citizenship. So I’m German American and people always say, well, how
do you explain that? And I said, well, my, my, my country. My country is Germany. That’s where I’m from, but my home is Los Angeles. So you,
that’s how you kind of combine combined both of those. I started out as a photographer. I was always in the creative industry. I loved
photography. I loved being a creator. I just realized that I wasn’t as good as a creator as I wanted to be.
00:08:33,160 And I ended up a very quickly understanding that I’m better at the
business side of things. So when it had to be stuff organized, produced.
I raised my hand and I just loved it comes very natural to me. So you
say one, I say two, three, four, five. And then it just kind of pops out.
But because I come from the creative industry, Nigel, I see a lot of
people that have these crazy ideas. I mean, you know, in photography
and in fashion, we do see a lot of very, very colorful characters and a lot of people that are non conforming.
00:09:07,880 And my job many times was to bring them together and then have them
produce something in at the end of a couple days and walk away with a
final with a final product. And I absolutely loved it. I moved then into L
Magazine and Germany from there on I immigrated to the United States became a artist representative and a photography producer and what
that means is that I would be out in the field producing for clients like Mercedes Benz and BMW and Wrangler Levi Strauss UK company, some of the catalogs and German Denmark and you know, it was kind
of like the hot producer here in Los Angeles. And I built that business
up until you know, about a million dollar business and then a lot of really
bad stuff happened over a really, really long period of time. I always say what happened.
00:10:00,600 What do you hear about happening to other people all happened to
me? Yeah, right. That’s not great. Now that is the under understatement
understatement of the year. Yes. And lots of natural disasters, night,
fire, floods, riots, earthquake, September 11th, wiped out a half a million dollars in one day.
00:10:19,600 A lawsuit, a bad employee. I’ve covered it all. So you’ve got the got the
skin to get through that sort of stuff. Well, we call it disaster proof. I
have also there’s also tsunami in there where I lost unfortunately a very, very wonderful person. And then now recently we added the pandemic and as of last year, we even had a hurricane warning here in Los
Angeles. So I’m coming to full, full, full circle here of disasters that one can experience.
00:10:56,600 Yeah, it’s hard to come back with all those sort of things in there. And
now having that resilience is something obviously with all of us of well, I
think there’s the pandemic you mentioned it there is there’s a different
level of resilience that everyone’s had to kind of develop to succeed
through not just in business, but just in life and trying to get there that I see where my kids have got two kids have gone through that. And the
closest thing that I had was the sort of Cold War kind of conversations
and a bit of worry around that but nothing on the level of the pandemic.
And I wonder it’s that thing I wonder whether they built that builds
resilience as a sumitrous with some people and other people it causes
a gap in that resilience is something that’s got to be got over when they’re older.
00:11:51,600 You know, that’s a really good point. I always say resilience is the audacity to not give up and and when we change our perspective on
resilience. Nigel, what happens is that’s where the magic happens so people say I want to be successful. I want to make hundreds of
thousands of pounds or hundreds of thousands of dollars or want to be
a millionaire. But they don’t realize that where there are at they don’t
have to skill set the mindset the actions they’re not taking the actions that are required to be at that level.
00:12:26,600 I work with a lot of people that are in their net worth is multimillions of
dollars and what happens is at that level you have to think and act very
differently. And I’m going to give you an example so I was in in a in a
forum that I facilitate and one of the people in the forum said I’m looking
for an executive assistant a virtual assistant and she says well I want to
get somebody for three dollars. And I looked at her and I said did you
not just say the volume of contracts that are coming in the door are in excess of three million dollars.
00:13:07,600 And she says yes I said why are you hiring somebody that’s three dollars an hour. Why are you even wasting your time trying to find somebody at the lowest lowest lowest lowest lowest. Maybe I’m going
to do my mic my teacher voice the lowest the lowest possible level in the hopes that you’re going to put your time energy in this to find somebody’s three dollars who can perform work at a $20 an hour. And
virtual assistant level why well I don’t think I should be paying more
than that is it but you are paying more than that what’s your time worth
sifting through resumes of three three three dollar an hour people I don’t pay my VA in the Philippines three dollars.
00:14:02,600 And that really is the problem a lot of people have is that they have scarcity and poverty mindset and then they’re wishing that success
would be the result of it where the mindset has to be a prosperity and
an abundance mindset for the rest of it to happen. And I can see that it
is I listened to a couple of podcasts and the different conversations on
there and the talking about when you’ve got a specially on is where you
run in a business that is. And it’s for a guess on the show as well and in
and Joel we talk about their the $2 task the $10 tasks their $50 task the
thousand dollars and if they’re spending all the time on those $5 tasks
the thousand dollar tasks which could get done in that time I’m getting
done and that’s how they kind of look at everything they kind of how
well they do I don’t know but they look at everything they do and I think it’s something I try to do sometimes fail quite many times was.
00:15:06,600 And then there’s what that delegation thing is what you should be delegating what should be given away to someone else. Yeah there’s
an exercise that I do called the real value of your time where you are looking at some of the things like if somebody gives you a hundred
dollars certificate. Give certificate and you go to the Apple store but you have to now wait in line how long would you wait in line.
00:15:27,600 And then you have to have this hundred dollars be worth it and if you
say well I’ll be waiting two hours to get a hundred dollars gift certificate then you value your hourly rate at $50 and so there’s a couple of
examples like this so this is an exercise that do with my clients and then
they say to me well I am worth this much. I let them do this and I say
my hourly is $400 and then it shows up that their hourly is 75 because
they’ll be waiting they’ll be waiting for four hours for a hundred dollars
gift certificate or they’re not paying the extra hundred dollars for non
stop ticket that’ll get them in there two hours early. So you have to be
very clear on what you value time or money because ultimately you and I know that time is is has a monetary value on it.
00:16:21,600 Yeah yeah it’s interesting because it’s one of those straight way I’ve got things pop up in my head there where so I. Part of the podcast and
trying to grow the podcast and this is it’s a problem I have with myself is
I don’t have a budget for it so I don’t have a budget I just try and do it off
of. I want to try and bootstrap it is the phrase I wanted to use it.
00:16:46,600 Yeah I want to pay for itself. I don’t want to be putting my money in to
get done. I put my time in and that’s that and then hopefully at some
point the idea would be it’s going to fund something I’ve got a few things in there that I supposed to help and they don’t always help.
00:17:03,600 But then I look at it and I go well should I be investing in advertising
should we do in the load of Facebook advertising or should I do a bit of
LinkedIn advertising or try to use a bit of tip top do all these different
things and it’s kind of then I look at the cash of something I’ve got to put
in and I kind of think is it worth it for what I think I’m going to get out of
it. And some of that’s about confidence about what the product is and is
it that I think that if I investing it and I wonder to myself whether I
believe in this product because I’m not willing to take that risk because I
don’t believe in it. Sometimes it’s just a case of am I just being prudent
and bloody minded because I want it to bootstrap itself and I want it to
feed itself and I wonder how many of you work within that in it will be the same in not just that.
00:17:50,600 But also with people doing in their job investing in training investing
their time in getting better at what you do at the job. How do you how
do you see that kind of that kind of mindset when it’s it kind of stuck there. Yeah right or wrong well.
00:18:09,600 So the example that I give Nigel is imagine that you go for a walk in the
spring and now you see this beautiful oak tree. It’s an oak tree like not
other oak tree and the oak tree says Nigel listen up but he. This whole
stress with putting all these leaves out all at once in spring is too stressful for me.
00:18:33,600 So here’s what I’m going to do is I’m just going to take a hundred
leaves. I’m just going to start a hundred leaves. If the birds come and appreciate the leaves people stand underneath and they admire my
hundred leaves and if the squirrel comes in place then I’m going to do a
cautious roll out over the next couple of weeks said no oak tree ever.
So the answer to your question that you didn’t ask is if I if a concept doesn’t exist in nature then it can’t work.
00:19:06,600 If there’s no concept that’s called weight and sea in nature it spring everybody knows what they need to do in spring the birds are having
babies the bees are buzzing there’s a limited amount of time available everybody’s out there doing their thing. And here we are and we go
hmm is this the right time should I be doing this I wonder I wonder I
wonder there’s a law a spiritual law that’s called the law polarity. And
the law polarity says that you can only see white because black exists otherwise how would you know you can only recognize beauty.
00:19:50,600 Because the opposite exists you can only recognize good because bad exists. Now that means if you can see your success then it can only
exist because the lack of success exists. So if you’re in lack of success then you just missing the opposite so it’s already there.
00:20:24,600 And I think when you explain to people that there is a an actual
universal law that’s responsible for these things. I want to stress myself
out over a bunch of knots who knows how many I need anyway I want it
I meant to lose some weight no squirrel said that ever I mean it is fall
boom they’re out in the summer they’re taking the knots they’re hiding it
their full expectation is there will be a winter and I will need it only us as
the human with a brain we go there is global warming this squirrel has a
point maybe you know if I if I run a spreadsheet on that and I’m out
there. And I manage the project properly you know maybe the squirrel
needs to just do like 25% less an effort because it’s you know not as
cold as the yeah makes perfect sense seriously people so that’s how I answer these questions on.
00:21:19,600 You can’t believe everything you think if you’ve been given the idea and
you can envision your success then it must be possible because you’re
living the opposite of that but you have the vision so it must be possible
so you’re in whatever black so white must exist. So then the question
isn’t does it exist the questions how do I get there. And what are the actions I need to take.
00:21:48,600 Yeah I get that as yeah it’s a good way of looking at it it’s kind of it’s a
possibility it’s it’s one of the options that we’ve got and therefore if it’s
an option then what yeah understand what the steps are to do is that
you talk about the plane isn’t it if you fly around the plane and you’ve
got a land it well you know you can land it is just the steps that need to
be taken in order to land that plane. Yeah and the steps are always the
same in order you got to know where you’re flying to you got to know what the requirements are for the airport you know that you have to
reduce your speed and your your height in you know certain criteria you
if you can see you need to use your instruments you need to be subject
matter expertise so you have the mindset I know I can land this plane because I have the training. The action said I have I know all the
actions I need to I’ve taken all the actions to become a pilot so I’m fully proficient in doing this.
00:22:50,600 I have the skill said you know I’m a pilot and I’ll land this plane and then
the rest becomes like well I landed the plane of course I landed the
plane there was a whole plan in the first place it’s only us in some of these other things where you you know in your case you say well I
wanted a podcast well you are doing a podcast well I want to grow the
podcast. Well then grow it how are you going to grow it well I’m going to
think about on whether or not I I should do something different than
what I’m doing right now well what are you doing right now not much is
a growing no well then the answers what are you going to change to get
a different result. Yeah yeah it’s interesting it I was let’s say I listen to a
different show the other day and it was about I think one of the quotes
and he said sometimes it gets a tribute to Einstein but as they said I
know everyone’s getting it every quote gets a tribute to Einstein at the moment.
00:23:38,600 It was a long lines of if you keep on doing what you’ve always done
you’ll always get you will you always get you’ve always got and it’s just madness to think that by doing the same thing. Yeah the quote is
insanity is the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and
over again and expecting a different result. I don’t know if it is any is
that situation where you go but it’s hard to do some comfortable where I
am well that’s that but that’s the mindset you know so this is the part of the mindset piece where your mind says
00:24:20,600 be at it Nigel but look where you are at at least you know you managing
it’s okay it’s not bad it’s not great it’s good why don’t you just stay where
you are at least we know because if you were to do something different
there’s a probability it won’t work. Well there’s a probability it will work
because when you started as a child with this child like curiosity you
said one day I’m going to be a pilot a firefighter I’m going to make
something out of myself and then you changed your mind like 60 times until it became what you became. Something so it worked so it it worked and you and there was nobody there is not like your mom said when you were seven years old Nigel you wanted to be a firefighter what’s this pilot nonsense all of a sudden.
00:25:22,600 Or the following year all now you want to be a doctor all really what
what you are you I’m so confused with you says nobody ever it’s okay to say something to pursue something and then to change your mind
because we are it’s a path the second step only shows up after the first
step but unless you make a decision to move forward what’s ever going to happen nothing. No right and it is a case of ease something I’ve
always looked at is from a point of view of remember when I started I was looking at being working on a stock exchange then talking to someone I when I was leaving cup we were going to college actually and one guy was going to study a count and seeing I said we’re heck you doing that for sporing I was doing business studies which I
obviously haven’t clicked to me that there was accounting in that and then I moved on to being an accountant for 10 years. And from that
moved on to project management and then moving into still in project
management but loads of different types of things and it’s just like it’s quite.
00:26:27,600 It I always talk to my daughters about the fact what they’re going to do
they talk about what they’re going to do and I say don’t worry you I don’t know what I want to be yet and I’m 55 nearly and at some point I’ll
decide what I want to be but I’ll find what I want to be in and they may
drop or what they want to do at 20 and be their passion for the rest of
life I may stay as a project manager until I stop doing stuff but I might
find passion different passions are different I’m always open to that
point of view of being ready to go actually that’s the thing that is me and
I want to do. And that change that the thing I think is a lot of student I’ve
done it before is that there’s a there’s a fear and it’s that I don’t know if you’re aware of a guy called Stephen Peters who wrote the book the chip the mic.
00:27:19,600 The chim paradox which is talking about our inner chimper inner. Yeah, the monkey mind yeah yeah and the fact that you’ve got that monkey
mind that’s always sitting there going we don’t want to do that they
would care about two things safety and. And it’s a two thing safety and
pleasure so that’s where you kind of it everything that you try to do if it
isn’t given you immediate pleasure and if it isn’t or it and it isn’t making
you feel threatened then then it’s happy but anything outside side of
that it isn’t and many of these things are falling to those comfort zones those stretches out.
00:27:53,600 We ignore it and we ignore that in a voice and just carry on with it but
some of them are just two they’re two in grain then it’s got too much
support for the rest of your brain to say way might be right actually that
chimper yours because there’s all this evidence where you failed before in that environment and he can. We talk about evidence from my
computer he talks about it and and that gets fed by the chimper and by you the gremlins are in there as he describes that just up front programming because you’ve heard it said to you you thought it
yourself and just because you think it just because you hear it your
brain doesn’t distinguish whether it is a reason it just files it under that
matches that does that. You can’t imagine and replace it and you’ve still
got to have that hind brain or whatever they call your brain to be able to
go there and go hang on a minute you’ve not stopped you lot of feeding
me this let’s reason about this and it’s and all of us I think gets stuck in
that situation where we don’t that skeptic view of our own thoughts.
00:29:01,600 I’ve seen it the same with the deliveries of projects and things that it’s
kind of like you sit there going well that will work we always do this way
we’ve got to do that. I’m in situations where I’ll when you get the agile
community where we’re looking at doing things in an agile manner this
quite a lot of nervousness about for me and from others of not having
that predictability of what’s going to happen when it’s going to happen.
And when you get that that feeds that uncertainty and that uncertainty
moves harder for anyone to accept those situations so they only do it halfway and it really I really struggle about doing it.
00:29:41,600 It’s worse than not doing stuff sometimes and no wonder from in a
personal growth and from a business thing is where someone. Don’t go
all in but they don’t ignore it because what do you have you see that so
it’s like it’s coming down to the plane and not put down your landing
gear is kind of in a good yeah you know it’s like this thing to say that I
want to find my life partner. And I want to find a life partner that is has all these different qualities and then you never leave house.
00:30:12,600 Or you don’t respond to any of the online ads that you’re putting out or
you never even put one out you don’t really want to find a life partner
you never leave your house you never run an ad. I can tell you what the
result of that’s going to be zero because you can’t multiply zero zero or
how about you say I’m going to drive to see my parents this weekend.
But you never leave the house you never get into the car or you get into car and you never started.
00:30:36,600 So the problem people have is that they’ve trained themselves to not keep their own word to themselves. It is a lack of commitment to
yourself and it is so common. So when someone says to me I will call you tomorrow my expectation is you will call me tomorrow.
00:31:02,600 Otherwise say I’ll call you in the next couple of weeks or until I call you
again. But if you say to me I’ll call you next week and you don’t call me
next week. You are training yourself like I don’t care if you call me or not.
00:31:20,600 But you train yourself that your word cannot be trusted. So now if you
say I’m going to make a million dollars your brain goes yeah like you call this person 50 times next week your word is useless. It’s unbelievable.
00:31:39,600 It’s unbelievable. It’s like I mean in project management is a deadline a
deadline is a deadline you commit to the deadline. Everybody commits to the deadline otherwise not a deadline otherwise it’s a wishful thinking.
00:31:50,600 So if you can commit to the deadline why can’t you not commit to all
these other things. So is it different to say we get this project done in a
month versus I’m going to find three ways to advertise my podcast just
to say with the example that are low cost over free in the next month.
And then because you said it and you commit to it now the action is I’m going to have to look for it.
00:32:19,600 So now you Google promoting my podcast now you see that there’s a
bunch of reddit strings and a bunch of Facebook groups and that some
of these groups are allowing you to promote your podcast once a week
in one string not all the time but once a week. Well that’s that would
qualify now you kept your word. The problem is when you train yourself to not keep your word to yourself.
00:32:46,600 That’s when you become this like wishful thinking wishy washy person it would be really nice and nobody believes you anyway. I am my word
and I want to be held accountable to it because I think it’s very critical if
I say I’m going to do something I better be doing it. And if I over commit myself and I’m learning that I cannot do that because I’m running always out of time.
00:33:11,600 I need to learn on how to commit myself to things I can actually execute on because it is better to commit to less and consistently execute
versus to over commit and then not execute because then you breaking
your word again. And it’s not about breaking your word to other people
which has its own consequences it’s worse than you break the word to it yourself. And as I said I want to grow my business.
00:33:34,600 Well what are you going to do? I’m going to think about it. Well what 00:33:41,600 results are you think that’s going to get?
Are you not already thinking about this? Okay well how long are you
going to be thinking about it? Well I’m going to think about it until I have a solution.
00:33:50,600 What are you going to look for a solution for? Well it can cost any
money. I don’t want to really put too much time and effort in it.
00:33:59,600 It has to be super easy and it’s going to get me there really fast
seriously. That’s that sounds like a brother grim fairy tale. You don’t have to commit.
00:34:10,600 You don’t have to do the actions. You have to do the learn the skill set 00:34:22,600 that’s required. Then you just going to have to do it.
I think the question on whether or not I want to, that’s what makes it
hard. If your kids go to the car and they don’t want to be buckled in,
that’s not an option. So how is it possible that you can do that but you can’t do that?
00:34:38,600 Yeah. So your kids want to play at the stove with the fire burning? 00:34:45,600 That’s not an option.
00:34:53,600
00:35:01,600 So a no here is an absolute no so you can say no here but you can’t
00:35:13,600 say no over there. So why is that? What makes that different from that? 00:35:20,600
So you have to catch yourself as you are going into these places and say, am I foolish? Shit here or not?
Yeah. Because we are the best liars in our own pockets. Yeah, it’s
interesting that there’s a lot of little flags pop out there for me.
But that is a round where I’ve committed to myself to do something and there’s something I’ve got in the way. Yeah.
And it’s been over different career than those things that I’ve thought about doing. And then there’s always an excuse not to do them. And
when it’s as you say, when it’s to yourself, there’s only you who it impacts because you haven’t told anyone.
00:35:36,600 And I suppose it’s habit, isn’t it? It’s a habit of doing what you say you’re
going to do. And there’s a character, there’s a character style about it, I think, as well is that there are certain characters that will,
00:35:52,600 if they said they’re going to do it, that’s what they’re going to do. That’s
the end of focus. There are certain other characters that don’t have that focus and therefore need to have tools to ensure that when they say they’re going to do something, they do it.
00:36:08,600 And I’m one of those, I’m always looking for those tools to manage, to meet and manage myself better and make sure I pay. And that’s a
project manager for you. If you look at yourself as a project and you
look at what you do as a project, then you already know what you need to do.
00:36:24,600 I mean, there’s no, no, no reason. You can’t be agile with yourself. 00:36:28,600 Yeah, yeah, absolutely.
00:36:34,600
Yeah. And I think it’s something I’ve, I’ve found none of this. A couple of years ago now with after pandemic.
And I put myself in a position where I put myself in. Because of stress,
because of trying to take on too much, because of saying, yeah, I’ll do that. Oh, right. And I’ve got that.
00:36:47,600 And I’ve got. And then it became busy. And then we had all of the other 00:36:51,600 stuff on there.
And my emotional world just filled. And I think that, that whole thing of,
and you feel yourself failing. And you feel yourself not achieving those things that you say you’re going to do.
00:37:04,600 And I just, where they were talking, I, I never part of that problem was
at the point where I wasn’t doing what I said I was going to do. I said, yeah, I’ll get that to you on Tuesday. And then something else had happened and something else that, but.
00:37:14,600 And my focus wasn’t in the right place. I wasn’t able to stay focused. 00:37:20,600 And then I wouldn’t deliver that.
And that would add another thing that I was late on that I had struggled
with. And my confidence level went down. And even to the point where
I, when I, when I said to my management, I needed to stop what I was doing.
00:37:31,600 I said, look, I’m failing at this. And consistently failing to deliver. Now in 00:37:40,600 their mind, they were, they could see there was a lot going on. 00:37:47,600
They could see that it was very busy. And they knew that I was moving it forward. But to me, I felt that as if I was failing.
And I just wonder whether it is because I could see. Those little, the
lower level things that I wasn’t doing when I said and that’s thing that. That build up in the back of my mind of saying compound.
00:38:00,600 You’ve done again. I’ve not done that again. You’ve not done that again.
00:38:03,600 You’ve not done that again. And I felt it since and spotted and gone hang on. I’ve got too many things going in too many plates. 00:38:12,600
00:38:15,600 Yes. And it’s right. I need to drop that one.
And rather than. I’m being forced into failing. I’m choosing not to do.
00:38:22,600 And then if someone sees that as a failure, whatever doesn’t matter.
Because I said, right, I’m choosing not to do that because I only have this much bandwidth to do this. So much energy, so much focus.
00:38:34,600 And I just think it’s something that I think is really interesting. The way
that you describe it in the. Looking at that from this lens and looking back.
00:38:43,600 Well, there’s two, three years ago. You can’t even know where it’s 00:38:48,600 originated. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I can see some of that. 00:38:56,600
00:39:03,600 And I can see where some of that. Some of I think in recent months. Is 00:39:09,600 building on on that.
00:39:18,600
Stuff that’s still there. And it’s a number of different things they were building on. And I’ve got a.
That’s really me. I just might bring this now going with right, right, right. What are we going to do different?
What am I going to do to change myself? But also change my
perception of myself so that it’ll be easier to change as well. Because.
Action is going to make it change the most, isn’t it? So by, by, by, back consistency, by doing what you say when you’re going to do it. And that’s something of a, you know, in a, in a professional instance,
00:39:29,600 but also in personal relationships. If you say you’re going to do
00:39:37,600 something, do it. Now, actually, you don’t have to say you to do it.
You don’t have to commit. You don’t have to say I’m going to see my mom on. On, on Sunday, if you don’t want to, you know, you know, I had this amazing trip planned to Nepal and Bhutan.
00:39:49,600 And I, I was ridiculously expensive and I looked at the date and the
time. Yeah. And I’ve just been in Costa Rica and then I went to see my mother in Germany.
00:40:00,600 And I would have, you know, in the trips already in April. And I looked at
it as like, there’s just not, not a chance in hell. I can do all of this in my business with all the time that I’ve been traveling thus far.
00:40:10,600 And not go, go, go not. So I, I choose, I wanted to do it. And I, I wanted to commit, but I couldn’t commit because I knew I didn’t have the capacity.
00:40:22,600 And we tend to avoid things that are painful. So we don’t want to have
these difficult conversations. We don’t want to talk to people that are.
00:40:35,600 Where we have a problem, we just always love to be in that high flying. Everything is great. Yeah, sure.
00:40:42,600
00:40:45,600 I’ll help you. I’ll get that done. I’ll help you move.
Hell no, I’m not helping you move. I can’t even lift the box. So, you 00:40:49,600 know, with my, with my neck.
00:40:56,600
I know I’m going to get hurt. So. That honesty to say not now. 00:41:06,600 Or, you know, that sounds like a great idea, but I don’t have the capacity or availability for this right now. Yeah. Yeah.
And I think it is that thing where you can, you can put yourself to. Yeah, you can help and people you can commit to do something. And rather than just failing at it.
00:41:17,600 When you recognize that there is a problem, do it. Go to yourself, well,
yeah, I’ve made a priority call on this. This is an priority that that. 00:41:25,600
00:41:30,600 Yes. I, I’ve made that priority call. Sorry, I can’t help you now.
Things have changed. I can’t do that now. Now, ideally, when you’ve
committed, depending on what it is, it’s different, isn’t it? But, and if you do me that on every single thing.
00:41:40,600 Well, that’s, again, that’s not ideal, but it is a case of, it’s that conscious decision rather than the unconscious decision to choose not to do something rather than just fail to do something.
00:41:50,600 And it makes a difference, doesn’t it? It’s like project management. If
you take a project on and then you don’t complete it, you’re going to get fired.
00:41:59,600 So, a lot is at stake here. So, if you can commit to a project, why can’t you not commit to other things that you say? What makes that different?
00:42:09,600 I think that’s the standard that we want to hold ourselves to is like, the
stuff that we don’t stick to is just not that important then. So, well, let it if it’s not important, why are you committing to it?
00:42:21,600 Yeah, that’s it. And I’ve had things like that where I’ve, I’ve gone action, 00:42:30,600 I’m not going to do that anymore. We all do that.
We all do that. Yeah, I’m going to, I’m going to, I’m going to come mom
and I’m going to stay with you for a week. There’s no chance in hell I can stay with my mother for a week.
00:42:38,600 I can barely tolerate over a day. And that has a lot to do with my past history with her and who she is. And the story she makes up.
00:42:49,600 And my abuse. But I had to come to the point where I said, there’s just,
I, I am going to give what I can give without compromising or depleting or burning up myself.
00:43:02,600 So I can come and see you, but I can only come and see you for a couple hours at a time. Because afterward I am spent emotionally spent. There’s no reason that I need to allow you to be an energy vampire.
00:43:19,600 Because I’m in charge of how much I want to give and how much I
don’t. Yeah, I’m not sitting in a different situations and different relationships. Yeah.
00:43:28,600 You have a certain amount of energy that you’re willing to put into it. 00:43:34,600 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And why are you feeling bad about it?
Yeah, you have to choose your choice, your priorities, your life. It’s your life. It’s your life. And if somebody, if somebody doesn’t suit you anymore and you become very successful,
00:43:42,600 and suddenly these people are talking smack about you, let them go.
Yeah. Nobody says that you have to be friends with everybody forever and ever and ever.
00:43:54,600 There’s no rule, no law. I mean, even though, you know, the UK is like
America, there’s got to be a law for everything. But thank God that law doesn’t exist yet.
00:44:02,600 It’s like Jesus. Yeah, I know. And the thing is that life’s like that, isn’t it? 00:44:06,600
You’ve got to, you’ve got to be in a situation where people have got us.
That kind of, you’ve got to choose. People that lift you up, there are situations where you will be in that situation where there are some people you will be involved with.
00:44:28,600 But you, as you say, put those limits on, there’ll be some people,
whether it’s in the workplace in the office or whether it’s even media and
social media and tools and things like that where you’re, you, I’ve for a
number of times, just not. I turn people off so I don’t see them because
every time I see them on the Facebook, I’m like, I don’t want, I really don’t need that.
00:44:54,600 And you’re making me dislike you more and more and more. And I don’t need that. The person from my people from my history that they find face to face, they seem to be different on Facebook.
00:45:06,600 And it kind of like, think, well, there’s no point. I want my getting from it, nothing except for a resentment of that person and not liking them
anymore. So I just switch it up and you kind of got to remove yourself and filter that stuff.
00:45:18,600 This news for 30 days is such a great feature, isn’t it? What’s that? 00:45:26,600 Sorry. Oh, on Facebook, you can go and snooze them for 30 days. 00:45:36,600
Oh, right. No, I don’t bother with that. I tell a lie, I have done. But I’ve, it more, more, especially when people get so political, Nigel.
Yeah, and those are the sort of things I get into. It kind of becomes,
when it becomes unpleasant and things, I think, yeah, I don’t need that.
And actually if there’s a thing going on, if usually that sort of stuff, I can find it quite amazing.
00:45:50,600 But some people get a little bit too far. Yeah, I see it on LinkedIn now.
So now, now they’re trying to infiltrate LinkedIn with all this political stuff.
00:46:00,600 As I please just get, just get, can we just have one platform when we
don’t have to listen to this perpetual news? And does this perpetual nonsense and just focus on business? Yeah, yeah, no.
00:46:11,600 And I think it’s interesting. It’s, as you say, LinkedIn has been, it’s 00:46:20,600 interesting. It does be because it’s like a public house.
It’s like a bar of any sort of, it becomes the people who are there. And that’s what it is. That’s the culture. So same as any culture in a business is a summation of the people that are there.
00:46:29,600 I think there is a little bit of difficulty is linked with social media. I think
the LinkedIn side of it, there is a different group of people who are going
to be on there compared to a normal social media. Yeah, yeah, that’s
supposedly professionals, but I will tell you people do such stupid stuff.
00:46:45,600 I always say, if you post something on LinkedIn, you better be prepared
that you are willing to completely ruin your reputation over one post.
And all, and it’s out there in perpetuity for all colleagues, for all partners,
for all clients, for all prospects to see what you’re really thinking. Yeah.
00:47:11,600 I mean, I’m okay with that on X because it’s just become intolerable. I
think for the first time since inception of Twitter, I’ve actually thought
about deleting my, my, my accounts is it’s literally intolerable. I have a
content. It’s on, for me, I’ve not used it out, pop on there once every two or three months and scroll through five minutes.
00:47:34,600 It’s revolting. No, I just switch it off. It’s just, it’s literally revolting. It’s just 00:47:41,600 not bad. Yeah, it’s just not.
And it’s not even, there’s, there’s a few voices in it, but, and it’s one of
those ones where you kind of go, right, the calling of it and managing of
it and removal of stuff that you don’t want to say. It’s just so much
energy. I think I have to do it. So, yeah, I think I linked in it tends to be my social media.
00:48:00,600 I hope you enjoyed that. But you’re thinking, oh, I don’t know what the 00:48:15,600 next bit’s going to be. Yeah, it’s frustrating.
You heard the beginning of the show where I said, there’s a way around
that. So, if you’re really itching and you want to hear the next bit of this
show, jump down to Patreon, have a look, find the one that’s got a little
lock on it, click on it and you’ll be able to get the second half. Along with
the first half, altogether, and you, you won’t get this annoying bit or the annoying bit in the beginning that I just done as well.
00:48:40,600 So, yeah, give it a go. I’m just going to your price for a coffee. Cheers. 00:48:58,600 Another great sponsor of the show.
You come to the form of M&U. M&U is a, well, it’s a tool for
documenting process, which, and best practices. It’s a company formed
by one of my interviewees, Alexis Kingbrough. Essentially, and I kind of summarised why, my view, where you see documentation of my experience has been, people will document something, a process that put it in a, a visual dome,
00:49:28,600 and that gets loaded onto a shared website or something similar. And
then a bunch of products, so then, once that diagram has been shared with senior management, they’re happy they have a process. But then
the detailed procedures underneath it might be, it would documents in just poorly kept and not linked easily and not updated.
00:49:47,600 And what M&U does, it allows you to put in a, it’s a tool for doing this
kind of thing. You whack it in, the service in there, get in there, put in
your process, you flow, and you build it down to its lower level of detail,
even to the point of checklists where people check off them, done it. So
it creates that guided checklists, easy to create, easy to maintain, and
all in one place, and no one’s kind of rooting around to find the share point.
00:50:16,600 And when you change to new share point services, and well, that’s not,
it’s all there. So if you’re pop along to NigelPrusor.com/M&U, it’s been
more detailed there, a link there to click on to, going out, I think, they’ll
offer a trial, there’s that. It’s something I think can easily reduce the amount of errors rework, etc, in our organization.
00:50:43,600 So, get to that. My latest, the latest, the affiliate that I’ve got on the
show now, is Riverside. I use Riverside to do my interviews, Riverside ever.
00:51:08,600 It kind of offers you a whole, if you like, my pros studio management
producer too, and goes beyond that, has a really good free layer. And
I’m using it for a while now, I found it really good, when I’ve had issues, even though I’m not on one of the high paid levels, the support has
been quick, responsive, and high quality, and people keen to help me.
The organization’s really good, the product seems really intuitive, and quality’s really good as well.
00:51:40,600 The clever way of doing it is when you’re recording through your
browsers, so you’re not got loads of desktop resources being used to
compare to some other products that I’ve used. And what they also do
is they do a, this streamer, a little quality version of it up onto as you’re
doing the interview, so you’re not burning bandwidth while you’re doing
the interview and potentially impacting on quality of conversation. And then at the end, the upload, the higher quality from your browser, meaning it’s just really good way to do it.
00:52:14,600 So if you are thinking of doing a podcast, and you’re supposed to do a
podcast, I would recommend using this tool, and find a really good best of the tools I’ve tried using today. And you can get that
nodulquisa.com/riverside, and that will redirect you to my kit back page
on their site, and then I will get a look back from there. So take a look, thanks.
00:52:40,600 [MUSIC] So this is my final wrap-up every week you’re going to hear
this, you’re going to get bored of it, but you can always click next
podcast if so. If you have enjoyed it, if you’ve listened to this podcast at
the end of this show and you think that was great, I’d love to be able to help nide out.
00:53:10,600 There are loads of ways you can do it. The first and obvious way is to share the podcast, send it out to people. If you know colleagues or
friends who’ve benefit from it, think they’d enjoy it, just send them the link, grab one of the links, send it all send them to www.nideulquisa.com/podcasts
00:53:32,600 And that will push them over to a link tree link and it’s got all of the different ways they can consume the podcast. If you are feeling
generous and have a big bag of cash, you could grab a copy of one of
my books, obviously. They’re available in all the usual places and print and digital.
00:54:01,600 Again, jump on the website www.nideulquisa.com/shop and that will
give you a list of all the different ways that you can contribute and grab
copies of the book. Also got links to all my guests’ books on there as
well where I get a little bit of a kickback from them. If you are of a sporting mind, I have a number through doing some of my judo and running antics.
00:54:30,600 I’ve managed to secure a few affiliate links and affiliates there as well.
So in there, somewhere in the sponsors page, there’s links to those as
well. So clicking on to those and grabbing your, if you’re with it, if you’re looking to get super fit, then that would be fabulous as well.
00:54:49,600 I get a little kickback from those. I have a Patreon account. It’s patreon.com/sundaylunchpm. So again, you can ping something in there by me, a coffee or whatever.
00:55:03,600 And finally, obviously the most important is coming back. Coming back, listen again, because the more of you that come back, the more
visibility I get, because there’s more times that you’re downloading and all the SEO works and things like that.
00:55:20,600 So yeah, that’s it. So if you can help me out, I would be much 00:55:28,600 appreciated. If you can, don’t worry about it. 00:55:40,600
Thank you very much, Chesna. Bye. Well, it’s goodbye from me, Nigel Creaser, and it’s goodbye from him, the Sunday lunchpm. Goodbye.
[Music]